I Get Kind of Hectic Inside

I may look back on my over-indulgence on using random song lyrics as blog post titles and cringe. Well, actually, that’s a no-brainer since I look back on my past self and cringe all the time nowadays. I look back on myself from a day ago and feel shame. Must be a reflexive thing now. 

Oh man, do you ever get to that point where finishing a paper or some other work that really requires no physical exertion aside from using your mind and just feel your heart hammering against your chest? It’s both fascinating and sad that I get such an adrenaline rush from doing school work, but I suppose we all have to live with our off-the-wall behaviors. 

No, but honestly, I am so close to being done; so close, and yet doing anything else physically pains me. At least I’m wide awake enough to write a semi-entertaining blog post… Even if it’s proving to be a bit scattered. 

I’m really wondering about what summer after high school has finally ended will bring. More stress? The transition from high school to college sounds intimidating, but about as intimidating as a shark inside a big glass tank. At this point, where I am now, there’s no need to really fret about that. Grades are due tomorrow and that’s what needs to pull my focus. 

Man, does anyone else feel like these posts are becoming diary entries? You know, ever since I was around eight-years-old I’ve tried to start diaries but have never been able to make it past the first couple pages. Sad. 

Take Off All Of Your Skin

Claiming exhaustion is a moot point now, especially when you hear it every single day in school and in every period. Nonetheless, I am very tired and I still have much to do. It has been this way since mid-May and even though, technically, we’re winding down, I feel like the tension isn’t going to leave my muscles until mid-summer, and by then it will all start over with college. 

Alas, I’ve come to learn that being an adult just means that you can’t rest until you’re dead. 

I won’t attempt to leave off on that morbid note. I feel like that would be a little… uncharacteristic, no matter how true I feel it is right at this moment. 

Instead, I want to establish that I am excited to start blogging again. I’m also excited that my refrigerator has been restocked. Strawberries and Cool Whip bring me to life.

No but seriously, I hope that I remember to continue to blog during college. I think it would be a nice breather in between all of the new and familiar experiences to come, and also to see if anyone from our class continues to blog. I love reading blogs from everyone. We’re all such different people with different voices and priorities, and I think that’s clear through these blog posts. One can hardly observe as much with just being in class and having so much left to finish.

Ah, also, I’ve been reading Howl’s Moving Castle and it’s very interesting marking the differences between the book and the film. I’m excited to share the central ideas, because one of them is something I’ve certainly got an opinion on that not many would agree with.  

Title is Optional (For Good Reason)

The school has been deserted and yet I’ve just barely noticed it. Even still, I think the only thing of note paired with that reality is the excuse that it’s really pleasant outside so no one wants to come to school? There are plenty of worse or more less-noteworthy excuses for not being in school… and I’ve probably used some of those throughout high school; I just cannot help feeling a little cheated, even when I should be in school because I’ve a ton of work to do.  

Scratch that. I ought not to be in school, being bombarded by new work to do, when my assignments to finish have been piling up for the last few weeks. That makes more sense and would adequately explain why I’m a little miffed. Never mind it however, I don’t want to take up any more time complaining about schoolwork.

Let me complain about college instead. I’ve done everything to accept admission into UW, but of course I’m worried that I missed something important or that the Office of Admissions won’t acknowledge my student-ship somehow. It’s so frustrating because I’ve nothing else to do except loan-counseling which doesn’t have to be done today (I don’t think). Ugghhh.

In other news, I’m hoping to get my hair cut today after school gets out. I wish I could hack off most of it, like two-thirds of my hair, but that’s an option at this point. I suppose 6 inches off will do fine, since that’s the maximum. It’s better than nothing. I am not of the disposition to take care of such long hair all my life and I’m ready for a change.

Merry-Go-Round-Broken-Down

It’s a little difficult to process just how deeply sorrowful I am over the news that Bob Hoskins, a very talented, sweet, and respected actor, has just died. He was 71 and had retired from acting not long ago, and I doubt that anything at the moment could make up for that loss. I feel… exhausted. I’m not certain if this exhaustion is a trademark of sadness or something else, but when I read about his death this morning it felt as if all of my energy had just drained out of my body. I’ve felt pessimistic since this morning, I think, because of this information and it’s been like that after hearing about other losses we’ve all suffered this year, including the death of James Avery.

 James Avery, for those that don’t know, was the actor whom played Uncle Phil in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.  And in terms of Bob Hoskins’s work, see Who Framed Roger Rabbit. That is and will always be one of my all-time favorite movies.

That pessimism has doubled by me just being in school since I know that the news isn’t as effective or meaningful here. I mean, I adored Mr. Hoskins, but often when I’ve brought up actors and actresses past a certain point in the cinematic timeline that most kids are of aware of, they never really know what I’m talking about? It’s genuinely irritating to me, although I wouldn’t force that kind of information down anyone’s throat. I just wish people were as troubled as I was – which is a terrible thing to say, I know, but it’s an irrational desire and at least I acknowledge that it is.

I suppose the least I can do, that will be positive, is dedicate a blog post to Mr. Hoskins and mourn him while simultaneously celebrate his many achievements and be grateful for what he brought to our world.

 

R.I.P. Bob Hoskins,

 (October 29, 1942 – April 29, 2014)

BUSY BUSY BUSY

We are coming down to the wire, the last month of senior year, and I have never been quite as busy as I am now. I am swamped up to my ears in school work and I don’t know how I’m supposed to find my way out of this by the end of the year… although I’m sure it will all clear up and the many kinks and snares will smooth themselves out eventually. I suppose it’s just a very human thing for me to revel in my short-lived perils and bellyache over what has become a conflict for me instead of actively seeking a way in which to soothe all of my little scrapes and bruises myself.

                You see that? I’m still making excuses for my poor managerial behavior.  

You see, I tend to do this thing where I create a phantom structure for what I’m going to do after school, and it’s never really worked for me, but I do it anyway to make myself feel better about how poorly I make use of my valuable time. By phantom I mean that I will write down everything I have to do once school is over, sans actual planner book, and then once I’ve written it down, fully intending to keep the list and check off things as I finish them, I will simply lose that list among other items and forget all about it. I don’t forget the content, but as to why I still write it all down when I’ve already processed what I need to be doing is beyond me.

But… moving on…

Alas, I’m a tad bit excited, but I cannot decide over whether or not that it’s a good feeling of being excited or that nausea-inducing feeling that becomes a stomach turner the more unwelcome it is. This Independent Project, for instance, has made me feel energetic and springy, because the fiction book that I’ve chosen has consumed me for the last month or two, and the thought of sharing it is terrifyingly sensational. It’s such a disturbing read, but once you get into it, there’s no going back. It’s also interesting to think that there’s such a huge fan base for it all over the country (world?) and you could probably look into it for hours on end and still find new things to smile about and laugh at, and new things to haunt your dreams and make you do a double take.

Aside from the Independent Project, there’s much more that I should be doing but for which I haven’t really found the time. I’m still getting everything for college in order (it was official that I was going to UW weeks ago, so… if that’s news to anyone now, here you are). And I’m still trying to figure out how to be an adult on top of my focus on school. If I had something more academic to share, I would, but for now I’m going to save that for my next two blog posts will be posted one after the other. Look forward to that, I guess?

Hmmm… Not much else to say. Here’s a toast to my little reintroduction blog post?  

Actualmente, estoy llorando y realmente quiero piñas (¡Ansío piñas!)

((¡Ahhhh! Ahora me siento tan triste! ¡How I Met Your Mother fue uno de mis programas de televisiones favoritas ahora termine!))

De todos modos… *sniffle*

En mi opinión, sería bueno si nosotros podríamos explorar las novelas importantes de España y México y América del Sur como nosotros hacemos con las novelas de Ingles y Estados Unidos. Seria desafiante pero yo pienso sería muy divertida. Me amo aprendiendo acerca de las culturas diferentes. Hay muchos poemas en español que son muy hermosa o, por los menos, eso es lo que he oído. Mucha literatura parece bonita en español. 

Pero a pesar de no podemos hacer en clase, me alegra que estamos recibiendo la oportunidad para combinar AP Literatura con Español IV. Pienso el ‘proyecto’ es muy creativa y divertido. Desafortunadamente, no tengo muchas cosas interesantes para decir. Hm… He estado pensando dar algo a The Bookmark. Me gusta mucho que la clase de escritura creativa está haciendo algo que todos en nuestra escuela puede disfrutar.

Suena mucho mejor que lo que tenía que hacer cuando yo estaba en una clase de escritura creativa.

¿Qué más? Oh! Espero que mis profesores no me den un montón de tarea esta semana. Me amo que es semana de las conferencias esta semana y no tengo que arruinado con mucha tarea y pruebas.  

School Work

I’m hopeful that those blog posts done in Spanish don’t have a deadline soon – soon as in tomorrow. I believe Mrs. Kirby said the due date was March 31st but I am not completely sure. Oh well, I suppose if it really is due today or tomorrow I can just take a page from the Japanese mantra: “It Can’t Be Helped”, (that is a real, authentic saying, I swear).

In other news, it feels like I haven’t really been keeping these blog posts related to school. I mean, I acknowledge school-related things but I never truly expand on what’s going on in the school itself. Speaking of it now fuels a terrible feeling of helplessness however and, in reality, I would rather not talk about it. I’m sort of drowning over here and have been trying to keep my head afloat for days. It’s not been a fun experience, although I’m still learning new things, things about myself that is. In general, I feel like I cannot stand having nothing to do. I mean, I’m not going to say that I don’t have lazy days or that I haven’t spent a day just doing nothing, because that would be an awful, sour little lie on my part. I never did anything but read and watch what-I-would-call-educational videos and practice my inculpable drawing tactics for several years, recent years. It’s been a tough road of sitting around, but I realize now that I’ve got to get up and do things, or risk sinking to the highly unfathomable bottom of life… or the real ocean. It looks a tad more interesting with all the sea spiders and demonic light fish that I have seen in pictures.  

I think that to alleviate my current situation, even just by the tiniest bit, I’ve taken to writing this blog post on a Monday rather than a Thursday. It’s something to get done and I intend on achieving that option as soon as possible at the moment. Please forgive the lack of quality or that there isn’t anything of note here. If it’s any consolation I have been considering The Joy Luck Club as a next book to read for AP Lit. I am currently reading Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire in preparation for April. The book was a little difficult to follow at first but now I am so attached I cannot put it down. It only adds to my wanton disposition I guess, now that I am in school and constantly having to refocus my attention, but all is well in the GoT universe. Well, not really. I’m not even close to being half way into the book and I’m already in love with certain characters and hoping that they survive the slaughtering soon to come.

Ahh, time for 4th period.

Everything is Awesome

I think it’s pretty funny, in a total coincidence kind of way, that I have had the song “Everything is Awesome” stuck in my head for days and it has only just deserted my brain today while we watched a TED talk about 1000 Awesome Things.

I really don’t have a lot to say other than that very statement. I’m just going to list some things that I find awesome now because there is such a limited amount of coherency that I can actually be forthcoming with.

And with that I say… Well, Here You Go:

1.) These late starts for Seniors (and others) have been pretty Awesome.

2.) I finished I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert and was able to turn it in to the library today, and that book was incredibly, funnily Awesome. 

3.) The song “Everything is Awesome” is, in fact, Awesome. 

4.) I will never have to read Brave New World again. Awesome. 

5.) I’ve been on a kick lately and have totally gotten back into writing my own stories, a much beloved hobby that I was being pretty lax on. I’ve found so many writing refs, it’s become scary Awesome. 

6.) I got that progress report finally. One of our teachers called me a very thoughtful person and I humbly consider that awesome. 

7.) I have Awesome friends that are willing to pick me up and drive me to school since I have no other mode of transportation. 

8.) I was accepted into UW recently and am still not over how Awesome that is. 

9.) I was able to complete my 2 min. Spanish speech without ever looking at my paper. I’ve got Awesome memory. 

10.) I finally finished Pirates of the Caribbean – the first one that is, after years of not really caring for it as I was pretty young, I think, when I first saw it. Thankfully it was not as boring as I had earlier perceived, it was mildly Awesome. 

11.) I found every episode of The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show/Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends online and these recurrent pangs of nostalgic Awesome are figuratively blowing my mind. 

12.) Eating grapes is just plain Awesome. Omg. 

13.) Game of Thrones, Season 4 is starting in April. Daenarys Targaryen remains the Awesome Mother of Dragons (and one of my Awesome queens). 

14.) Hurrah for the one out of hundreds of socially-awkward, yet Awesome, people in this school, that would be moi. I’ve probably been acknowledged in a positive manner by more people in one week than in the previous 4-5 years. 

 

I Want To Look Inside Your Head

“I remember the back streets of Naples

Two children begging in rags

Both touched with a burning ambition

To shake off their lowly-borne tags, they try”

Peter Sarstedt, Where Do You Go To, My Lovely

 

There are many oddities that result from my feeling happiness for any extended period of time. Some moments are punctuated by restlessness, a need to get up and just do things, move around to accomplish something or just to be aimless and enjoy myself. Sometimes I will spend my bits of good feeling with my head filled with the kind of imagery that only loners and wackadoos strive to detail and perfect within their own minds, or contrariwise I will imagine perfectly normal things like the décor of my future apartment – what kind of pictures will I place on the walls and what color will those walls be? As of now I am currently balancing on a cloud lined with silver and finding all the music that I can that bears equivalence to my mood. Oh, and I am only slightly remorseful for the way I was acting during school today. I was a very jumpy little cricket throughout the day, saying all sorts of rambunctious things and playing with jewelry like I was a toddler with keys. I would apologize if I weren’t on such a kick today and didn’t feel an overwhelming boost in self-esteem as I do now.

Last week I was extremely happy as I was able to go to a movie theater after almost three months without the pastime within my grip. I was in a sorry state waiting to see something worth merit, and yet I was not disappointed by any means with the film that we, my family and I, had chosen to see: Mr. Peabody and Sherman. The trailers for this film are a bit of a disaster, but it may just be one of those movies tailored to my preferences that I cannot and shall not ignore.

            Let me just stamp out a disclaimer here and say that, yes, I enjoy movies deemed ‘for children’. I could go into how absurd I find the notion that these kinds of movies are stupid and immature and not worth an adult or young adult’s time, but I’ll save that for a rant day.

Seriously though, if you think that a movie ‘for kids’ has any right to be pointless or stupid, than you’re just as ignorant as what you loathe for no real reason pal.

Anyway, I remember loving The Rocky & Bullwinkle show as a child, and I believe I saw Mr. Peabody’s Improbable History from time to time in addition to it. I don’t remember how exactly I was able to see a television show that had been created in the 60s when I was younger or even where I was watching it for so long, but oh well. The point is I liked how the movie captured the spirit of the cartoon without sacrificing heart and wit. AND PUNS. Dear God, the puns are just… Ahhhh.

Anyway, I have more to share but I am just going to go and eat some cereal at 8:40 PM because that’s what happy people do, I guess.

See you tomorrow for our test.  I need to end on a pun here! Ah, oh forget it. 

The Exhaustive Pursuit of Interspecies Adoption

I am such a baby sometimes, I swear. I was so uncomfortable the last week and a half away from home that I developed a need that will not be fully satiated in the near future. I need to listen to La Vie en Rose at least a dozen times before I go to bed at night now. The fact that I still have yet to listen to it and that I am still awake can most definitely attest to that. 

Eh, I don’t really want to talk about my Senior Project now. I’m just very glad it’s over with and I’m home at last, free to be alone and not with energetic munchkins that torment me day and night. Oooh, I’d love to talk about how sick I was the last couple of days and my frightful ordeal with the train delay(s) and the four hour bus trip from desert-city, USA. But I remain a wreck after all of it and am still trying to relax while also figuring out how to balance homework on top of all of it. Guess you’ll have to wait… Not that I, in any way, doubt that my followers could be more anticipatory for my little, inane anecdotes. 

On a totally unrelated note, here’s hoping that I will actually be able to see an interesting movie tomorrow! I’ve so missed going to the theater and I’m hoping that this will get me back into place and a little more cheerful.